queer and loathing

Run away!! Run away!!

I woke up Saturday morning to the booming sound of my friend Christopher’s voice on my cell phone: “GET THE FUCK OUT!”

After watching the Weather Channel for a few minutes, learning that Katrina was a Category 5 Huricane and remembering that Broadmoor, the subdivision I live in, is the lowest area of New Orleans (or, as my friend Marshall puts it The Deep End of the Pool I decided to call around to see if I could tag along with anyone in an attempt to get the fuck out of dodge. Long story short: Marshall, Carlos, Plato, Lydia and I have evacuated to Montgomery, Alabama and are staying with Carlos’ parents in his sister’s gay ex-husband’s semi-abandoned for-sale house. Yes, it confuses me as well. Fabulous house though.

The kitties did excellent in the car; Nary a peep out of either of them for the entire FOURTEEN HOUR DRIVE. I’m so proud of them. We stopped along the way twice, once to pee on the side of the road after no peeing for eight hours, once to to get a burger at McDonalds after not eating for ten hours.

What’s grosser than gross? Being told that Marshall “had to pee a couple of other times as well, but luckily he had a couple of empty water bottles in the car with him.”

What’s grosser than that? Seeing him pour out said water bottles in the parking lot of McDonalds.

So anyway, I’m in a Mongomery public library using the net, resisting the urge to look up porn, but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. I have a feeling we arn’t going to be coming home for a few days, so I’ll have to make do.

A few friends of mine stayed home.. I hope they’re OK. All the cell phones are going crazy and it takes forever to get through to anyone, if you get through at all. So, anyway, if I haven’t been able to get through to you I wanted to let you know I’m ok and hope you guys are as well. Seeing stories like this really make me nervous.

Well, I lost Marshall and Carlos in the library, they were supposed to be in the computer lab, but they’re not, so I better go look for them before they leave me here. :)

Good luck!

Things to do…

Things to do

1. Move to new apartment. Check.

2. Clean old apartment 4 hours a day for 4 days. Check.
3. Procrasinate unpacking at new apartment. Check.
4. Traumatize Lydia by stuffing her in a pillowcase to bring her to new apartment. Check.
5. Have car broken into again - make sure amp and stereo are stolen. Check.

I know it’s been a while since I had a real update on here… appologies to those of you that rely on the blog for updates on my goings-on. Lack of blogging does not, in this case, mean that nothing much has been happening. Stolen amps radios and motivation. I’m actually close to being caught up at work, so I thought I’d steal some tax-paid minutes and toss up a quick post so people wont think I’m dead or anything.

One good thing to come out of all this is the streetcar. I really like it. I don’t understand all the hooplah surrounding it. I’ve seen the people who are complaining, where are they going to that’s so important that they can’t wait 5 minutes for a streetcar. Of course, I’ve had to wait 40 minutes, but I don’t pretent that my time is so important that I can’t afford to wait. I’m sorry, if you’re riding public transportation - you can deal with it. I rode a bus again after a week of riding the the cars and I swear I felt like I was white-water rafting. Sudden starts and stops, bumpy as hell and filled with school children with headphone induced turrets. I have lots of CDs with lots of cursing too, but if the song in your headphone has motherfucker more than five times in the chorus you need to shut the fuck up and let Mystikal do the rapping - no one wants to hear your intelligibly mumblings at 7:30 in the morning. Uhg.

With that out the way - check this out:

FCC Swamped With Oprah Indecency Complaints

Neurosis Squared

Ok, I’ve been kind of freaking out on the fact that tomorrow morning at 5am (Oh my god, that’s like 3 hours from now) I’m going to be on my way to the airport to get on a plane. I haven’t flown since I was 13 years old… and dispite the fact that air travel is supposedly the safest form of travel - I’m still a little scared of the whole thing. However, this phobia is nothing to the guilt I feel over leaving my kitties for 7 days. (Well, six. if you dont include the Saturday we’re leaving (today) and the Saturday we’re coming back. Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Yep, Six complete days.) I have formed the Kitty Squad to handle this situation.

Gina: Morning feedings/waterings/playing..
Julie: Afternoon feedings/waterings/playing..
Alberto: Evening “hang out time.”

Yes, I actually asked Albert to stop by and just hang out with them for a while a few days. I’m that paranoid they’ll be alone and start to hate us for leaving them. Alberto’s reply: “Ok, but that… is so gay.” I think he’s right. :)

No wait, it gets worse: KITTY CAM. Yes, I set up a webcam to monitor the bedroom for movement of any kind. Hopefully, we’ll be able to catch a glimpse of them jumping on the bed or curling up for a long whittle kitty nap. I’m my god, I’m getting a lump in my throat just imagining that. It’s like Dead Poet’s Society all over again.

Anyway, hopefully the camera won’t freeze, Lydia or Plato won’t knock the cam off the desk and we can all enjoy my neurosis together. Meow.

Feeling much better

I am the happiest cat owner ever.

Ever.

Lydia is safe and sound, knocking loose change off my desk as I type this. Dan was able to crawl under the stairs where I couldn’t and there she was.

Plato is so happy he can’t stop kneading my leg. :) Too bad I have a splitting headache from hanging upside down for so long today, otherwise I’d play with her.

She such a schweetie!

Speaking of sweets, check out this recipe for Janet Jackson Breast Cupcakes. The chef is kinda cute too. Bonus. :P

This just in: From the above site: CNN IS COMING OVER TOMORROW TO DO A STORY ON MY JANET JACKSON BREAST CUPCAKES! THIS IS NOT A JOKE! I REPEAT, CNN IS COMING OVER TOMORROW! THE STORY WILL AIR MONDAY NIGHT!

Freaking Out

I’m the worst cat owner ever.

Ever.

While I was trying to get my car started this morning, I left the front door open for like, two minutes as I was walking in and out to get the phone and call in late. Lydia got out. I’m beside myself with worry, since I know how scared she gets of everything. I can only imagine how scared she is, huddled in some dark corner somewhere, wondering what all this loud wind and water is. Of course, when she gets scared she doesn’t come out until whatever scared her goes away - so I can only hope she gets enough nerve to creep out near the front door so we can see her.

I crawled around under houses this morning for about four hours and didn’t see or hear anything. I have no idea where she could be and I can’t help but feel like it’s all my fault. I saw what I thought was the Lydia Clone (a cat that we always mistake for Lydia) while I was outside in my car… now that she’s gone I’m pretty sure it was her. Where did she go? Hmmm. I’m really sad. Plato is acting all nervous.. he knows she’s not there. This is his first time away from his best friend (and possible sister) in almost a year. :(

I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep if she’s outside during the storm tonight.