Ultimate Pickup Line #103

08/15/2010

Saturday night at Omega:

Creepy Old Man: “I find you very attractive.”
Me: “Thank you.”
Creepy Old Man: “I like stocky nerdy types with little dicks who like to take it up the ass.”
Me: (…)
Creepy Old Man: (…)

In the past this guy has walked up to me out of the blue and said things like:

Creepy Old Man: “Your English is very good. You speak very clearly.”

and

Creepy Old Man: “It doesn’t matter, but do you have a boyfriend?”

Last year he was talking to me and being his usual old, creepy self so I told him I was there with my boyfriend. He asked who my boyfriend was so I said “him” and pointed in the general direction of my friends Tadd and Keith. I gave them the please save me look and Tadd waved me over towards them. I told Tadd what had happened but Creepy Old Man never came over. Later that night I was talking to someone else and Creepy Old Man walked over and barked at me: “THAT. WAS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!” He then stomped off to his tomb on the other side of the bar. For months after that, he’d see me out and would say something like “Where is your ‘boyfriend’.. TONIGHT?”, complete with Creepy Airquotes(tm). Other times, like last night, he’ll give no indication that he recognizes me.

It’s hysterical and terrifying at once – like the old Tales From the Crypt series on HBO except in this episode the Crypt Keeper wants to get in my pants.

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Stressful weekend, finally over

05/30/2010

I’m finally in the new apartment with @MarkDC and @DCBrent. I met them on twitter about a year ago and we’ve turned into really good friends since. Although I’ll miss living with Alberto it’ll be refreshing to live so close to Dupont Circle with two queens. :)

I’m actually a little excited to be thrust back into gayness again after living with Alberto for the last two years. But, it’s not like I magically appeared in the new digs, room all set up and cats happy. With the help of the roomies, new and old as well as @Jase11 (who did an extraordinary amount of lifting, go you!) I managed to get moved Saturday afternoon and mostly unpacked by Saturday evening – in time to pass by the Eagle for a little while and see some friends.

This morning I’m exhausted and starving. My body aches from the hairs (not) on my head to the nails on my toes. I want nothing more than to rip the head off my care bear bubble bath and soak the majority of the day away and then eat until I pass out.

Sounds like a plan.

I was good last night though so I’m not hungover on top of all this — I played a very terrible game of pool with Mark, Chugs and Daniel then left a little while after that. Home by 1, asleep by 2.

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Drunken post, 10:43pm on a Friday

05/28/2010

Did i really just wait two hours at the bar to meet up with a guy only to have him get drunk and leave with someone else, twenty minutes after he got there? Seriously? Did that just happen?

Womp womp — FML

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