It’s been some time since I’ve updated the blog and visits are down to 10-20 a week – I feel anonymous again. I missed being able to post here without a mention of it in the day after. It could serve a purpose once again. Maybe I can speak publicly without anyone hearing – that was important to me at one time.

Lately I’ve been been slipping back into my old routines – during the week I spend my evenings online and the weekends are spent either online or out drinking. I’m definitely starting to feel a measure of loneliness creeping back into my life. As much as I love living in DC I miss the connection I had with my friends in New Orleans.

Ironic, but breaking up with with my most recent boyfriend has made me miss my previous ex even more. While dating A I completely avoided contact with B for fear of feelings resurfacing and now, spending time with B has made me quite sad. It’s tough to accept your feelings for someone will not be returned.

After a year has passed it’s more than obvious I should move on. My friends say I should cut contact altogether but really – that’s easier said than done. Especially when I don’t have that sense of connection with anyone else in the city. I just want to be friends but yet I constantly look for signs of more. Signs that never seem to materialize.

So, here I am, 3:31am and drunk, feeling sorry for myself and feeling even more stupid for doing so.

Fuck.

Good night.

I’m so desperate for new blog posts I’m now posting pictures of my dinner. DC Cafe.

Today I had the pleasure of helping a customer who is what I call a “mumbler.” If I ask a mumbler a simple question, like, “what port are you using for your outgoing mail server?” they’ll proceed to mumble nonstop into the phone, informing me of every button they click and the content of every window that pops up. They’ll tell me every port they’ve ever used since they first set up an e-mail account in 1995. They let me know every person that walks in the room and every thought that crosses their mind.

This time, while configuring an iphone’s e-mail settings, the flood of consiousness was suddenly interupted:

Her: “Oh my god! my screen just went blank.”
Me: “The screen is blank?”
Her: “My settings are all gone.”
Me: “They’re gone or the screen is blank?”
Her: “The screen went blank, all white. Totally blacked out.”
Me: “It’s all black or it’s all white?”
Her: “My settings are all gone. They’re all empty.”
Me: “Are the settings all empty or is the screen all blank?”
Her: “It’s all blacked out, they’re empty. I don’t get it. Oh my god. Oh my god.”