I know you’re excited.
Yes, it’s another entry in my “Drunken Thoughts” Series – where I say too much after drinking too much.
Sometime tomorrow I’ll fight the urge to delete this entry. Instead I’ll merely fix the grammar and correct the spelling so I’ll appear more cognitive than I really am. (And better with tenses.) I apologize if you read it before then.
Fuck it.
Today I revisit past tragedies with all new characters. All new except of course, one. This is my blog after all, so they’re always about me.
As usual, there is alcohol involved and it is set in a sleazy bar.
It’s the same old plot though: Boy meets boy, boy likes boy, boy leaves bar with other boy.
Hint: I’m not the other boy.
I’m not upset with him though. I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in myself for getting my hopes up so quickly again.
Again, I felt stupid.
I walked home from the bar, my frustration and self pity shrinking with each step as the men of P Street disappeared behind me.
Walking, I wished I was able to move from guy to guy each night like so many of my friends, passing on one as another seemed more likely — I’d probably feel more in control. I’d feel less stupid.
I wished I was one of those guys but I am glad I am not.
Just sayin.
I’ve wasted too much energy on this already, now if you don’t mind I have some cats to cuddle.
Here’s some unsolicited advice from a filthy divorced cop in LA :)
If you don’t have inner confidence and a sort of inner balance, it will be hard to attract the sort of mate you seem to be looking for. You have to project that aura because people pick up on it subconsciously. If you don’t already, invest some time in meditation (especially in nature, especially near running water if you can). Seek balance and you find every good thing that goes with it.
*he says, looking forward to climbing gently into a wine bottle when he goes off shift* haha
I feel your pain, cutie.
@jake Thanks. :)
@phill Thanks as well. Unsolicited? I think any of us who have blogs are soliciting advice by the very act of posting these things. :) I definitely know what you’re saying though. I can be very self confidant once I’m in my comfort zone but I can be very shy when I”m not — to the point where I will spend the entire night looking for clues and dropping hints… uhg.
Awwwwww. *big hugs* Boys are stupid all over. You are the most awesome of the awesome (the phrase “the stickiest of the icky” popped into my head, but I’m thinking that’s not the correct usage, haha.)
That sucks, but at least you’re not alone. This is my life, too, except for the walking home part (in heels?? pshaw!) Oh, and no cats, but several extra pillows.
Phil’s advice is good. I’ve been thinking about yoga/meditation lately.
:(
.-= jason´s last blog ..good news =-.