queer and loathing

Julie sent me Hubig Pies!!

This is the pie that I brought with me to work today, mocking my hunger from within my bag.

Obligatory Sidekick Post

Here’s the obligatory photo of myself holding my new Sidekick LX in the mirror. I’m officially “that guy” now. You know, the one who is constantly flipping the screen open and texting to mysterious recipients on the metro, in the restaurant, at work, during the funeral, etc. It’s OK, I figure I’ll just embrace it.

Don’t get me wrong, I would never spend the $299 list price for this thing, I got a really good deal at the T-Mobile outlet since they didn’t have the Sidekick3 or Slide in stock. I actually sent in the rebate… perhaps my first one?

Despite it’s huge shortcomings, I actually really like it so far. Sure, it’s criminal that they list “Bluetooth 2.0″ in it’s list of features, but then completely cripple it. No phone-to-phone BT file transfers, no stereo BT headphones… really, what’s the point of even HAVING a mono, crippled BT connection on a phone whose primary use is for text messaging? I also admit that for all practical purposes it’s completely un-customizable. Just about all you can change is the wall paper and a couple small icons in the menu. There’s these ginormous, horrid icons that cover a quarter of the screen when you trackball around the main menu.

The one thing that really should bug me is the fact that although you can transfer MP3s to the phone to play through your wired headphones, you can’t use them as ringtones. In fact, you can’t transfer ANYTHING else via the USB connection; music and photos, that’s it. Unlike any other ’smart phone’ you cant download and install games or other applications on your own, with the Sidekick you’re locked into buying these from the ‘Catalog’ that’s on the phone itself. That’s how they getcha! This sucked until I remember how even with all the MP3s I had on my phone before, I usually just kept it on vibrate anyway. Jay-Z playing randomly out of your pocket on the Metro at 9am is completely obnoxious. No big loss.

So, if I think it sucks so bad, why do I like it so much?

That freaking keyboard… that’s all I have to say. The screen is pretty amazing as well. Very bright, very sharp. Very huge.

Since moving to DC I’ve been texting like crazy. There’s a few ’social networking’ sites, like Twitter, that revolve almost exclusively around text messaging. None were very popular in New Orleans, but I’ve met quite a few great people up here through them. Consequently, I’m sending/receiving over 50 messages a day. Without the cheap, unlimited data plan (thanks T-Mobile!) and the huge keyboard on the SK, I’d be too broke to go to the doctor for the cramped, mangled thumbs I’d have by now. :)

Anyway, if you’re a twitterer, you can stalk follow me at my twitter profile..

Yes, I made a Keith Olbermann theme for my phone. :)

Don’t tempt me || The Pogues!

updates while riding the metro home

I haven’t been writing much lately, I know.. save for stories that feature minor bloodloss and youtube videos of bipedal dogs. The truth is, I have lots to report.

Rumors of my disappearance have been justified, but greatly exaggerated.

To fill some of you in, I am working at a smallish web host in Maryland. It’s a great place to be, exactly what I was looking for and I’m learning new things every day. No joke, I may be running the support department within the year. Go me.

I’ve met quite a few great people here; have made some friends and gone on some dates. I can honestly say moving to DC was probably the best decision of my life.

And then there’s Maude T.C.

TC was someone I met via the fabulous dating site crazyblinddate.com. Long explanation made short, it’s a site brought from the developers of OkCupid.com - where, after you complete the usual forms detailing your likes and dislikes you also specify upcoming days and times that you are available to be assigned a blind date on short notice - usually a few hours. If you both accept the time and location, with only a blurry photo to go on, you are left on your own devices as to what happens next. To maintain privacy you may communicate via text messages through a proxy address that the site provides. It’s one of those sites I wish I had thought of…. and it’s free.

Back to TC.

TC and I met at a little Salvadorian restaurant near U street. When we first met it was obvious he was EXTREMELY nervous. He was stuttering and shaking and was hardly able to complete a sentence for the first 10 minutes.

Unfortunately the 20 minutes that followed were not much more interesting.

TC collected Voltron episodes on videotape.

TC quoted Star Trek and Highlander and obscure sci-fi novels.

Normally this would make me cream my shorts, but there was something so off-putting and arrogant about him that I just kept smiling and nodding while plotting an escape route in my head.

Oh yeah, and his breath smelled like someone shat a corpse in his mouth.

After a few appetizers we walked to a nearby used bookstore where I bought Hollywood (Bukowsky, pretty good) and Lenny Bruce is Dead (not Bukowsky and annoying to read.) After leaving the bookstore I accepted his offer of a ride home. it was cold.

It was a bad idea.

TC: “so. You are you always this reserved?”
ME: “not sure what you mean. This pretty much how I am when I first meet someone”

Apparently “extremely uncomfortable” and “reserved” look alike to him.

TC: “I’ve been told I can come across as aggressive sometimes. You know, my friends like to say ‘what TC wants, TC gets’”

I know, right? Totally makes you throw up in your mouth a little. You think it can’t get worse; neither did I.

We pull up in front of my house:

TC: “Can I have a kiss?”

Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to cut and run but I figured if I remained polite and air-kissed him or something it would all just be over with and I could go inside and blog about him.

TC: “To quote the Borg, resistance is futile.”

I promise he said that. On my father’s grave. Really.

Then he GRABBED MY CROTCH and rammed his tongue down my throat.

I shrieked like a girl and threw open the door. He was all “let’s do this again sometime.”

I slammed the door, went upstairs and took a tomato juice bath. OK. That part isn’t true. I did give him horrible reviews on the site though.

I mean really…

Voltron?!

(I apologize for the all the typos this had, I was typing it on my phone!)